Blogging is cathartic, right?

I’ve healed so much through blogging. It bothers me that it’s so hard to post here, about where I am, how I’m growing…because it’s public? because I’ve published it to my facebook and invited people who actually know me? I’m a broken soul still healing. The best friend I ever had told me a month ago that she understood that pain, that she believed it should’ve been how I thought it should’ve been. I’m still healing. Taking care of me, getting healthy, caring for me and making me a priority, is part of that healing. Not just from him but from my life. From what I’ve done to myself, in my journey to finding this amazing person I’m supposed to be. I’m getting there. Tonight, honestly, I’m feeling crazy-not-the-good-way. I’m feeling like all of this is wrong, like I can feel him in distress, like he is right around the corner and somehow fate will make us right. Remember, someone else believes it should have been. Everyone I’ve discussed the conversation with…well…sort of hated that she was the one who said it out loud. But tomorrow, I’m going to wake up. I’m going to eat what makes me strong and healthy. I’m going to work on my garden and my plants, and I’m going to spend precious time with that little monkey of ours. I’m going to make the 2 of us my priority every single day until the risk of him appearing in my world doesn’t make me wonder what I would do.

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